“Dress like the bird you want to be.”
we got the assignment
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Aunt Mary
I love how you called us kindred spirits. I love how you showed me your journals and photos and art and gardens. I love that you used words like “whimsy”, and that you were silly and fun and loud. I love the way you dressed and how you came alive around people. You were a treasure. And now I smile to think of you with Jesus. I’ll see you “soon”.
Sarah is fifteen
She stayed home from school and we went to Evergreen walks to Sephora and The Paper Store (for her crown). Then the mall and crumbl cookie.
We had lilacs in the car because we love the scent and they won’t be in bloom much longer….and our two bushes at home are loaded with them.
Sarah is a darling, full of personality and joy. I am so thankful for her; I see her and am in awe of her. She’s got a good heart and a good head on her shoulders.
She had her boyfriend Cash over and also Alayna came later on and we all had pasta (made by David), cake and ice cream.
Caleb-Ethan-Seth-Cash-Sierra-Sarah-David-Aleyna
I’m writing this from the mall of all places.
Rich and took Sarah and Aleyna shopping and I’m just so tired that I decided to sit and people watch while they all wandered around having fun.
In other news, I need announce my latest grandbaby…Jacob and Brittnee had their second daughter on February 13 and named her Eloise Josephine. She’s a darling and I get to watch her and Lucy once a week for the whole day.
every spring
Thanks to David notifying me I was able to go down to the small pond and say my yearly hello Mr and Mrs Duck. They are a harbinger of spring as they fly over and land every year on or around this date.
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They always ask that I stand behind a tree so they don’t feel uncomfortable.
From here I was able to carry on a pleasant catching up sort of conversation with them. They did ask why it was just me this year, me and one solitary cat, and I had to explain to them once again (they are forgetful) that Parker (“that dog who always used to bark at you, remember?”) died a few years ago, and that the children all grew up. Soon we were all crying about it. Then the ducks cheered up(rather too quickly) and confessed, “it’s better this way.”
Ducks like quiet ponds.
I explained to them about how I have grandbabies now and that…… (I dried my eyes and smiled) …..”really I’ll always have all sized children to love and enjoy” and they said “Well as long as they don’t visit”…..
And I said, “Oh, they’ll visit.”
I’m confused now
Lucy hasn’t been feeling well so her parents took her to urgent care and when I got the update I yelled upstairs to David:
“Lucy has an ear infection!!!”
(David) “Lucky?”
(Me) “No! LUCY! ……Who’s LUCKY?”
(David) “Not Lucy.”
a good mama
Indeed, she is much more than a mama. Are their words to describe the vastness of a woman? All she is and does, so quietly, loudly, energetically, gently, mindfully, and naturally? So natural that only God notices? And notice He does. Smiles down. Lifting her up higher. All is grace. All is good which comes from above and how can we say thank you enough?
Thank you for Brittnee.
Thank you for the way she loves.
Thank you for the wife she is to our firstborn.
Thank you for the ways she cares for her daughter, our first little grand-baby.
Thank you for her smiles and joy and wit.
For her honesty.
For her work.
Why are birthdays so grand? Because they celebrate life, one of God’s greatest gifts.
“The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” says Jesus, in John 10:10
A rich and satisfying life that started years ago on this day for my precious daughter in law.
Happy Birthday Brittnee!
She came inside yesterday evening after a long day at work and swooped her sweet girl up with love and kisses. I snapped a quick picture because I’ve loved watching her become (so much more than) a good mama over the last year.
The astute observer will notice a second little babe growing …. won’t Lucy have the surprise of her life come February, when a new sister appears?
thoughts after the election
“Anyone who sets himself up as “religious” by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air.”
“Real religion, the kind that passes muster before God the Father is this: Reach out to the homeless and loveless in their plight, and guard against corruption……… (examples of corruption: religious busy bodies, meanness, dirty talk, nasty sexuality, bad temper, wanting your own way, etc)……. guard against corruption from the godless world.”
“Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here’s what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly.”
“It’s the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts.”
“Mean-spirited ambition isn’t wisdom.”
“Boasting that you are wise isn’t wisdom.”
“Twisting the truth to make yourself sound wise isn’t wisdom–it’s animal cunning, devilish conniving.”
“Whenever you’re trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others’ throats.”
“Real wisdom, God’s wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others.”
“It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced.”
“Say a quiet yes to God and he’ll be there in no time.”
“Purify your inner life.”
“Hit bottom, and cry your eyes out.”
-book of James
And then, rise and shine.
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I imagine a woman, poor in spirit, broken and struggling, used and abused, pregnant over and over, multiple abortions…….seeing a poor soul lying homeless and suffering on the streets calling for someone to help them, the self-righteous are walking by, over and over, they are on their way to church, or a political rally, busy with “importance” but she, with her little, reached out a hand to help. Sat down by the poor soul’s side, stayed and listened, loved.
I imagine a person with set-in-stone morals and ethics. Nothing would sway them from their beliefs. They work hard and make money, and are involved in church or politics. Meanwhile their own precious child is crying and lonely and emotionally neglected.
The lonely might sit in a church every sunday but find their comfort and sincere friendship from beautiful strangers — deep, thinking. creative, full-of-life humans who come from anywhere, perhaps a drag queen, a gay person, addict, perhaps someone in deep poverty, and the lonely are shown mercy and grace from God, through that generous soul.
(every good and perfect gift is from above)
In fact, I know of a woman who was actively using her body as a prostitute, when she took action to help God’s spies escape, she believed and acted; her name lives on in the Scriptures. RAHAB
A handicapped person faithfully volunteering their time to help others, while receiving practically nothing in return from whole-bodied people, not even a look or a glance.
A child, skipping through Trader Joe’s, handing out flowers after her dad paid for them. I witnessed this with my own eyes, and I would rather be that child today than involved in today’s seemingly cut throat political arena and media reporting.
Give to the government what is the government’s, your vote, your taxes, but live the life you are meant to live.
Look for a way to help someone else. Spread kindness. Heal and be healed.
Listen to your heart, see with it, and take action when you are able. Keep what you do to yourself. These are your pearls. But give a loud testimony of what you see someone else doing. Light hearts on fire with stories of crystal clear and joyful goodness.
You won’t find most of God’s most beautiful people easily, you have to search them out, because they are the ones that are almost completely hidden, ordinary and plain, quiet to the point of silence, exhausted, yet glowing with that certain something in the eyes.
taking joy
It’s Friday. A golden September day. Leaves just beginning to slowly fall from some of the early changing trees outdoors. My life is full. My heart is full. There have been some significant discoveries in my life over the last month. I had covid in August and I just couldn’t shake it. I began to get weak, so weak that I could not do stairs without having breathing difficulties, I was very sick. I started wondering if it was long covid, so I went to the doctors. I was so sick that I cried throughout the appointment. My heart was racing fast. He had me do breathing exercises but it made no difference. I was truly miserable. Hot all the time, weak, shaking, sweating, and no energy or mental clarity to do much more than what I had to do in a day. I never gave up though. When the blood results came back the doctor called me that morning at 8:30. He asked me if I had any family members with thyroid problems and I said yes, my mother and aunts and some cousins all had been diagnosed and put on medicine. And he told me that I had hyperthyroid and to start taking the medicine that day. It’s been a little less than a month and I feel better than I have in a long time. Rich and I wonder if my thyroid has been acting up for years……it would explain a lot. I don’t have any regrets though. I can see God’s hand guiding me along and always remember that beautiful Bible phrase…..”at just the right time”……at just the right time God will show and reveal and give grace and move and guide. And yes, even each moment is a blessing-moment from above. My bare feet on the floor, the oversized striped shirtdress that I bought myself yesterday making me feel cute, the sounds of my son moving in his bedroom, the anticipation I feel knowing that the other kids will be coming home from school soon, on and on it goes.
My husband honoring me (briefly, during an introductory talk he gave) at work yesterday, and I was there in the front row next to Ethan. Bringing people to tears with his kind and loving words. The way it made me feel so loved and cherished once again, by my husband of almost 29 years (in three days). The sunshine sky above us as we had lunch together. Visiting his office, looking around the room at the many family photos he had printed on canvas. Our little ones.
I’m in my grandma era. Brittnee gave me a sweatshirt for christmas that says so. I wore it last night because the nights are getting cooler. I miss the babies because they have gone on vacation together with their parents over the last week. How lovely it is to receive texts and photos on a daily basis. Lucy and Rorric dipping their toes in the ocean, the bright happy smiles of Jacob and Brittnee, and Brogan and Grace……I love that they can spend time and make memories together.
Ethan and Sierra are doing so well….they have been married for over a year now. They have a dog named Winter. I love them so much.
Caleb is in his second year of college at Liberty University. My darling son.
Seth is in 10th grade, Sarah in 9th. They even have a couple classes together this year. It seems to have given them something to bond over. I love hearing them ask each other about their work and teachers and assignments. Seth is playing football and Sarah is cheerleading; first game tonight! These two younger ones are now 14 and 15 and bring me so much delight and laughter in a day.
As for me, I am taking joy wherever I can reach for it. By God’s grace I don’t ever have to reach far, and often the joy just falls into my hands effortlessly. All this from thyroid medicine! I have to laugh at the difference it has made in my life….so thankful. I have energy again. I feel 10 years younger. Whether good or bad times, God has a way of working in our hearts and minds that makes use of the moments and days and years.
I read books, I feather my nest, enjoy nature, keep close to my circle of friends, went on a trip to NYC with Joanna last week, I cook and clean, and I’m saying and enthusiastic yes to life…..the life God gave to me, eternal life that in some ways began the day I was born and will never end.
PS, oops one more family member to write about—I realized after I posted that I didn’t mention Dave. So here I am to remedy the oversight. David is home and doing great. He’s working for fed ex and is also very helpful when I need an extra driver to run errands. he has a girlfriend named Natalie and she’s a wonderful girl.
alone with blueberries
Well I am in New Hampshire in our vacation cabin alone for a couple days. How did this happen, you wonder?
Since I had driven here first (with Sarah) to prepare for the rest of the family to arrive it worked out nicely for me to remain behind for a few days because 1. I had my car and 2. My kids are old enough to be alone & 3. baby Lucy my angelic granddaughter was able to find someone else to watch her today. So Rich left with everyone and I was very grateful to have three free days, to spend time by myself. As much as I love and adore my family and honestly each one of them is someone I would always choose over solitude, as a quiet introvert I still believe that when an opportunity to be alone presents itself it’s wise for me to take the gift. (I admit it does feel odd for me at first). Yesterday I stayed here at the cabin, but this morning I thought I would drive to visit our old friends, Karl and Edna. This is an older couple who used to be our neighbors in Connecticut, they moved away a few years ago to spend winters in Georgia and summers in NH. I didn’t have their phone number but I remembered the street they lived on so I put on a sun dress and left Sammie (who is still with me and who lost part of her tail, see previous blog post for the story) to make the sunny forty five minute journey. New Hampshire is a beautiful state to drive in, what with the hills and valleys , picturesque homes, gardens, lakes, forest, and more.
They were home!! Of course the Mr. was in his garden and the Mrs. was cleaning. They welcomed me warmly, as I knew they would. These delightful friends are in their 80s and such a wonderful couple to know and admire. We sat and visited in their beautiful living room and when I left I was given two crispy garden cucumbers and a container of soft zucchini bars (frosted) and a mind full of inspiration. I hope Rich and I, when we turn 80, are just as delightful and kind and friendly as they are. I was so glad I went, I was a little nervous about it but my bravery won the day.
I then went to Bristol, NH to a coffee shop called The Purple Coffee Lounge, and I can highly recommend the pesto, cream cheese and tomato bagel sandwich 100%. There is also a cute village thrift shop nearby where I bought some books for 10 cent each- (note to LeaAnn, I bought an Anne Lamott book called -All New People- and thought of you, although this one is a novel. I’ll let you know how it is)
I also scored some Redwall paperbacks for the kids. (highly recommend)
Continuing on my way, my second shopping stop was at Moulton Farm where I bought food for myself for the next two days.
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I have decided to start doing my “10,000” steps per day again. I had gotten tired of walking and was really proud of myself for quitting but I also began eating whatever I wanted.
I’m still going to do the eating plan but will walk briskly now, as well. I had enough “rest” (months, indeed, entire seasons).
And thus it was, that on today’s second walk, I found
wild blueberries
of which I have a very
very
long history, as I used to pick quantities of them every summer for long periods of time, as a child and teenager.
I picked often enough that the whole experience is genetically coded in my brain now I’m certain of it. It feels like home to pick them. Only the wild ones though.
On today’s walk I found a nice airy five foot high blueberry bush and could not pass them by even though I have no one to share them with and believe it or not blueberries are really not in my top ten fruits to eat, I still HAD to pick them because I wholeheartedly believe that the bush ENJOYS being picked (the birds pick them too), yielding a higher amount of berries for the next year. Plants know when they are Useful and they produce accordingly.
As I picked for that small amount of time (7-9 minutes), I listened to music on my earbuds, felt perfectly content, felt a little bit like I was trespassing as there was a house close by just beyond the bush but then I reminded myself “it’s a ditch” and, also felt, not like a bird, but like a deer. The moment I turned back and jumped up on the road again is when I felt most like the deer, my feet even made the same rustling noice in the bushes and grasses as I jumped.
I had stopped picking when my hand was too full for any more.
I found out today that my left hand holds a full quarter of a cup. I hadn’t realized that before today.
If today was a song it would sound like a visit with old friends, driving through New Hampshire, a purple coffee shop, smiles from strangers, hot sunshine and humidity, the sound of birds and lapping lake water, a true crime podcast, laundry machines humming and spinning downstairs, Birkenstocks, a navy blue sundress, iced coffee, dirt roads, the hum of fans in every window, in my voice, my song, of my hand, of my memories, of my blueberries.
You are loved.
the fourth of a tail
It’s hot and humid and sticky here in New Hampshire. The cabin has every fan running, everyone is slow and sleepy. Rich and I are here for a couple weeks with the three youngest kids. I also brought my best friend cat Sammie. She’s driven here with me before, and we get such joy watching her be the only cat in the family away from her three cat-mates back home in Connecticut. She stretches out in sunbeams, perfectly relaxed, goes inside and outside and finds many favorite napping locations and plays with her several catnip toys. She rubs up against our legs and purrs constantly. We all love having her here.
Sammie’s peaceful New Hampshire life ended when the rest of the family, plus the Winter the dog, belonging to Ethan and Sierra, arrived on the 3rd. No matter if she’s home or at the New Hampshire cabin, Sam is always fearful and hostile of Winter. She kept to herself on the windowsill however, until that evening when Seth decided to pick her up and carry her across the kitchen. The rest of us were in the living room visiting and talking, but when Winter saw what Seth was doing she playfully ran over to him, hopping up and down trying to tease Sammie. Sam’s tail was unfortunately just within reach and when Winter snapped at it, she went crazy in Seth’s arms and flew away across the room, all of us adding to the chaos with our own sounds of alarm. Yelling at Seth, grabbing Lucy off the floor, trying to calm Winter down. Sammie ran right at me and then away, leaving two small but deep scratches on my legs. It was a chaotic moment to say the least, and then Sarah said “What is that on the floor??” I looked out into the kitchen and saw a little pile of black. “It’s Sammie’s fur!” Said Seth, and as Sam raced upstairs I saw that the last fourth of her tail was now just a thin pink blood covered bone. The fur was pulled off, along with all the skin. I was so upset. We passed the night with Sam in our room dripping blood from her tail as she restlessly went from bed to floor to table to windowsill and everywhere else, it was very disturbing. Rich and I spent time that next morning of the 4th wiping up cat blood with Clorox wipes because who can bandage and staunch the flow of blood from the end of a cat’s tail? I began calling it her “red paintbrush” but honestly my nerves were on edge what with the house full of family and now an injured best friend cat to feel sorry for.
And so it was that on the Fourth of July, Sierra and I took Sam to get a fourth of her tail taken off at an emergency vet in Meredith. Our appointment was at 8pm and the crowds gathering for fireworks were immense. We got Sam settled at her appointment, signed the papers, and passed the time by going to get ice cream at Ben and Jerry’s along with one hundred other people……
Sam made it through just fine, and we brought her back home on Serra’s lap in her cardboard box of a cat carrier, watching the fireworks out the windows, and sitting in traffic for lengths of time.
She’ll spend the rest of her life with a shortened tail, but she’s still so pretty in my eyes.
Sammie’s paperwork
Right now she’s hiding in a cupboard in the bathroom. She doesn’t want to be anywhere near the dog. And who can blame her?
We have a new story to tell every Fourth of July.
PS it was also Brogan’s birthday (our son in law) Happy Birthday Brogan!!
Good to be Home 